The Value of 'Me'

Venus square Pluto and Saturn in Pisces lessons

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much time I spend focusing on other people’s thoughts, words and creations as opposed to sitting with my own thoughts and creative force.

Social Media has twisted us in some interesting ways that’ve had me feeling all kinds of crazy for quite a while now. It’s been very easy to slip into other people’s brains as a way to distract myself from my own creative process. Plus, there’s the way that no matter how sure I am of what I create, I still find myself comparing what I do to everyone else. Still working on that…

On the bright side, looking at other people’s stuff serves as inspiration to me all the time. It provides me with contrast to know how I truly feel about any given subject when I hear other’s opinions. I appreciate this so much. I also value the insights that’ve helped me to get unstuck. So many times, I read someone’s words and it was exactly what I needed at that moment to gain clarity. I like to think that, just maybe, my words do that for others as well.

With Venus coming into a closing square to Pluto this Sunday, I’m sitting in the balance of what I value vs. how I act on those values. Venus is usually talked about in terms of relationships or money, but to me, her most important role in our lives is helping us to understand what we value most through the lens of relationship and money.

And, how much we value ourselves.

My attention and time is so precious, as is yours. When I choose to be with a person over and over again, whether on the internet or face to face, I’m basically saying you're worth spending time on.

And this is something to be very conscious about.

Lately, I’ve realized I’ve chosen to spend time with people for reasons that came from wounding and not clear choice. One of my closest friendships came to an end recently, which has left me grieving, but also super clear.

I sat week in and week out with this friend because I thought it was better than not having that friend at all. But the truth was, I felt empty after most of our times together. I felt unseen and devalued. This person and I had lots of common interests, so lots to talk about on the surface. But every time I shared something about my inner life or heart, it was crickets and blank stares that then moved swiftly back to focusing on her ‘hard’ life.

I did this for way too long. I didn’t speak up because I thought it would be selfish of me to talk about how I felt. It made me a little crazy trying to figure out if I was putting unreasonable expectations on how I ‘need’ someone to ‘show up’ for me or was I truly not experiencing a reciprocal connection? I pride myself on handling my own sh*t and not projecting it onto others, but this friendship had me spinning out regularly. Shouldn’t close relationships bring mostly contentment and calm instead of constant self-doubt and angst?

Have you ever felt this way?

Eventually, a really traumatic event happened to me that she was not able to show up for at all, as in not even call me to see if I was ok. People who hardly knew me showed more loving concern than she did. It was the harsh contrast I needed to see that, no, I wasn’t asking too much. I deserve to receive comfort and loving care from someone who claims to love me.

Looking back now, I don’t know how it took me so long to see this clear enough to take a stand for myself. Another vestige of the survival co-dependent habits ingrained in me since birth, forever the nice girl who gives until she bleeds. Ugh. So unattractive and so time to let go.

The silver lining, though, is that each time these hard falls happen, I pick myself up with stronger convictions and knowing.

My time is valuable.

My loving presence is not to be given freely to anyone who shows up consistently for infusions.

My heart deserves to be given the utmost care…very few people have the capacity to do that justice, so be choosy.

These are also Saturn in Pisces lessons which many of us are going through as he transits in Pisces until Feb. 2026.

We can only love with an open heart if we’ve created strong boundaries where we love ourselves first.

Venus in Libra squaring Pluto in Capricorn on Sunday may nudge you to look at where you’re people pleasing, resisting taking a stand because you don’t want to be alone, or just having a hard time setting boundaries in general. This can be bumpy territory but so worth the relief it brings from being true to yourself!

Honestly, sharing this here feels a little too vulnerable, but maybe if we talked about these things more it would be easier to navigate together as women. I don’t harbor any ill will toward my old friend. I learned a lot and now it’s time to go our own ways. And really, I should thank her for helping me to stand up for my heart. I will do that better from now on because of her…

Please know that I truly value each subscriber and I’d love to hear from you in the comments! I get that your attention here is a gift.

xo, Kimberly