Starting Over

A story of Ownership

Art from Frida Kahlo’s house in Mexico, maybe created by her or Diego? I forget….somebody let me know, if you do.

“I met myself, just today. Came alive in my grave.” - lyrics from ‘The Beautiful’ by Five for Fighting

Everything looks the same on the outside, no change in status, while everything is different on the inside. 

The things that used to seem so important feel pale and dull. Interests in material excess, concern for what others’ think, following a specific set of guidelines that never felt relevant to begin with but you just did ‘because’.

It’s like landing on another planet where you don’t speak the language or know the customs, but somehow still, you must fit in.

Welcome to the transition time.

The first inkling that you’re the master here comes when you realize you can’t blame anyone for the place you’re in. No one else is responsible, as much as you try to push off the blame. Sometimes you can stay in this place for months, maybe even years. 

‘What the actual fuck?, you think. No matter how much I try to point the finger, it always leads back to me. Guess I have to finally deal with my shit.’

And deal you do.

Every situation that appears like a mirage in the desert (only you feel it to your core) is here to loosen your grip on the old ways. In surreal fashion, the coping strategies that used to work no longer do. Nothing feels ‘right’. 

You’ve reached the point in this lifetime where your soul will no longer settle for Just Good Enough. 

Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here.

The new operating system requires complete surrender. Thrashing will ensue. Take your time with it. You’re no longer on a schedule. 

At some point, the thrashing becomes too exhausting. The realization seeps in, ‘No one is coming to save me. I have to find a new way on my own.’ 

After extensive searching, you come to understand there are no guidebooks. No one knows exactly what the new way will be. But there are clues. And there are others who’ve come to the same conclusions you have. You’re not alone and you’re not crazy. 

This is a thing.

The urge to be in nature becomes almost manic. It’s your new drug of choice. You find that solitude feels better than any gathering. You need time on your own to quiet the panic in your nervous system. 

Most people now sound like first graders throwing a tantrum. You see that you used to sound that way, too, and feel momentary shame. You let that go since you recognize it’ll take you back down the rabbit hole you just spent extreme amounts of energy climbing out of. Compassion for your fellow humans comes in quickly to take its place.

At this point, a blank canvas appears before you. What will you put on it?

You have flashbacks to art class in middle school where you stared at the piece of paper and had no clue how to begin.

‘What should I draw?? Somebody, please, just tell me what to draw!!’ Back then, you had the comfort of knowing there was an assignment given by the teacher. But now, you’re the teacher and the student all at the same time. You’re creating the lesson plan.

What would you like to learn? What would you like to experience? What would you like to manifest?

It’s all possible now with enough focus. The sky’s the limit once you figure out the technology.

When you do, will you please let me know how you did it? 

Sharing is allowed. But only once you’ve mastered loving yourself so completely that you don’t need ‘the answers’. They’re just ideas for you to ponder in your new life as Master Creator, inspiration for your desires. 

Because….remember?, no one’s gonna do it for you.

Time to get started.

Welcome to the beautiful.