Showing up at my son’s wedding

without being able to shower or wash my hair

Dear hubby, Chandler, my son, our dog, Jovi, and me

My life has an amazing way of giving me opportunities to practice what I preach. I often speak here about not letting appearances matter so much that you lose sight of what’s important. The perfect opportunity presented itself to do just that on the day of my son’s wedding.

That morning, we turned on the bathroom faucets only to be greeted by the horrifying fact that our Airbnb had no water. His wife’s family is from Puerto Rico so this is where we had all traveled to for the big day. 

Unbeknownst to me, I’d booked an Airbnb in an area with, shall we say, limited amenities. I was awoken all night every night by roosters crowing. They and their many wives roamed the streets freely. Each morning, I got up in an exhausted haze. 

The power went out multiple times during our stay.  We went without water the last three days we were there.

I will paint this story with a vivid reminder we were in a country with 100% humidity and high heat. To say we were sweaty is an understatement.

I was also unaware family weddings in PR came with the tradition of showing up in a sequined ball gown for all the women. They really know how to dress there. My Anthropologie iridescent sheer blazer over a simple knee length silk sheath was nowhere near fancy enough as mother of the groom. I’d planned for the heat and not the customary opulence in my ignorance.

My son, his beautiful wife, Rita, and her sweet grandmother and twin.

Which probably was for the best because I don’t do heat very well and I was so sweaty in my simple dress. I looked and smelled like a drowned rat with my limp, flat hair and makeup sliding off my face. I had done the best I could in that Airbnb bathroom.

So, here I am, looking not at all as the situation called for. 

Time to embrace what’s most important.

I dropped into my heart and said to myself, be here now in the most present way possible, Kimberly. 

Focus on your love for your son and new daughter. Focus on soaking up the beauty of the rainforest and the incredible outdoor venue surrounded by lush tropical plants. Focus on the people gathered to celebrate this important day. Focus on the joy in your son’s eyes. 

This was my practice.

I turned away from thoughts of ‘I’m not showing up as my most beautiful self.’ I didn’t let myself succumb to ‘I’m not good enough to be here as I’m presenting myself now’. I didn’t let myself worry about how I smelled or how I looked compared to anyone else.

All of those things would have robbed me of joy.

And, it wasn’t lost on me the fact that how her family looked and how I looked were at opposite ends of the scale. It wasn’t lost on me that my life put me in a position to have to work on my self talk in a most intense way. It wasn’t lost on me that this was an opportunity the full Moon lunar eclipse gave me to love myself…even here, even now. 

So I did. 

And then, the very next night, my family was stuck in a torrential flash flood in downtown San Juan, locked in by bumper to bumper traffic with no escape route.

Once again, I was brought to my knees and even greater depths of despair. We went from not enough water to way too much. For over an hour we kept our wits about us as we figured out a way to escape alive. By the grace of God, we did. It wasn’t our time to go.

Video of the water once we were finally able to make it to the highway

In that terrifying situation, with crystal clarity, I was given the complete knowing I’d spent the previous night exactly as I should. How I had looked was of absolutely no consequence. If I was going to die tonight, at least I had been fully there for what was truly important instead of worrying about how I looked.

On an island surrounded by water, I’d received so many priceless opportunities to again remember what’s important. 

Thank you, Water, for all these lessons. I’m ever so humbled and grateful.