Not getting paid for my work was a gift

A deeper dive into the energy of money

Statue of Juno Moneta, the Roman patron goddess of money

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I endeavored to charge for my writing services here on Substack and was given yet another lesson in the process.

I experimented with putting certain writings behind a paywall. And got ZERO extra paid subscriptions. Even though I know the writing I was offering is liked greatly by many people. 

After the initial sting, I realized this was yet another gift from the Universe disguised as a hardship.

This experience led me (once again) to my own relationship with money and more false beliefs that need to be cleared. I know when money is not flowing to me easily, it’s because there’s something within me that’s blocked this flow.

So, back I go to the drawing board with my work in the world and how I’M valuing it. I recognized I need to value my work the MOST.

I need to feel so clear my work adds value that there’s no doubt in my mind others will want to pay for it.

It’s common to doubt ourselves, especially as women, when it comes to what we have to offer. It’s common to make ourselves small, to keep our voices down, to not make a fuss. Because this is what we’ve been told to do for centuries.

And this is what I say to that!

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There are some things I’m very clear about when it comes to offering my services.

It’s not my way to try to coerce or convince anyone to pay me for my work. These are low vibrational masculine tactics taught to us in our society and it’s completely out of resonance for me.  

It’s a common marketing practice to wear your customer down, to get them to their saturation point when finally they decide to purchase. It reminds me of the sleazy way some men try to get women into bed.

I never want to harass my subscribers.

I read some newsletters that remind people every post that they wish their subscribers would pay for their services. They say please, pay me, over and over.  This is begging which is also very low vibe. 

I’ll continue to hone my offerings in a way that brings in the heart centered humans who value my work enough to pay for it without arm twisting. I have some whom, upon initially subscribing, decided to pay me from the start. These subscribers were a hell yes! 

I want all who pay me to feel this hell yes. I want them to feel good about sharing their resources with me. 

This is love I receive back from the love I give out.

This is an exchange of money energy that feels joyful and I want to feel joy when I receive money.

I want to feel the heart of another person reaching out through the ethers without any heaviness, obligation or weirdness attached. Money is meant to feel good and our monetary systems are changing to reflect this, albeit slowly.

For now, we’re all invited to do our own ‘money laundering’ within ourselves. How can each of us find a way to be with money in a pure way? How can we each detach from old relationships of fear when it comes to money? There’s still much work to be done.

I believe over time, as I fall more deeply in love with my work, my work will fall more deeply in love with me. And those who interact with it will feel an overwhelming desire to support me in greater ways. 

This is the way I want to ’do’ my work. 

My service in the world is based on higher consciousness. I’ll not be a hypocrite by stooping to low vibe tactics to get paid for it.

Until then, I’ll love myself while I evolve and value myself more, not making myself wrong for having ‘too few’ paid subscribers.

I’m grateful for these lessons that bring me deeper into the heart of Source.

With great respect,

Kimberly xo